Too much caffeine = Sunrise!

Recently, I have seen a lot of sunsets and it dawned on me that I miss sunrise every morning and don't even think twice of it. So, thanks to accidentally taking an Excedrin that contained an awful lot of caffeine, I was still up this morning at 4:30am and was able to go appreciate it. It was really early (or really late, depending how you think about it) but really beautiful.

Goodbye: Sunsets in the Park

Last week I made a list of what I wanted to do before leaving Seattle and, besides seeing Harry Potter and drinking $3 Mojitos, the only thing I wanted was to spend the evenings appreciating the glory of Seattle sunsets. The need to catch the sunset started last summer when I had this incredible back porch and now I'm hooked. In Seattle, it is like the sun setting is a tourist attraction. Anywhere you go there are just people gathered, everyone there to see the same thing. I love the sense of community; that we all have taken time to stop for just a while. The sunset calms me, and reassures me. It is like a sense of peace washes over me as I sit there. And peacefulness is exactly what I need in this time of life.


Now, I know that Viet Nam will have sunsets. But I also know that they will not be the same as forcing my very dear friends to accompany me to various places in order to just sit.




So goodbye, sunsets in Seattle. Thanks for being so pretty.

Do I have to say goodbye to these?!

How appropriate do you think it is to wear giant, leopard print sunglasses in Viet Nam? Because I got these for the cruise and I'm obsessed. They may be utterly ridiculous, but I LOVE them. Wearing them brings me pure joy. I just don't think I will be able to say goodbye to them for an entire year :)

Saying Goodbye: Queen Anne

From reading other people's blogs, and mildly stalking the few people I know in Viet Nam, I have learned this little trick. Well, trick may be a misnomer, in reality it is simply a way to mentally prepare myself for the goodbyes that are soon to happen (12 days soon for Seattle, eee!). So, you and I are about to enter into phase "saying goodbye" where I will focus on some of the specific things that I love about Seattle and will miss this next year. Here it goes...

Queen Anne

Although over this last year I have been a little self conscious about telling people that I live in Queen Anne, I secretly love it. Yes, it is affluent, and yes, there are families everywhere and the only place open past 10pm is Starbucks. But some of my favorite moments have been walking through the uppity residential streets of this little neighborhood I have been fortunate to live in. The houses are beautiful, and draw me in with their front porches, porch swings, stoops, gardens, etc. A good friend of mine taught me to always literally stop and smell roses, so a walk through QA always involves many rose stops, as well as some lavender. I love the intersection of Queen Anne Ave and Boston, where at one point there were 5 coffee shops! And I love my favorite, The Tea Cup and a good cup of Moroccan Mint Iced Tea. 

I have walked these streets so many times, taken in the city from Kerry Park, seen a proposal at Marshal park. I have gotten to know many people as we sat and talked through life changing picnics, deep and thoughtful questions, year reflections, car celebrations, and laughter that comes only from a place of pure joy. I learned to be on my own here, walking to and from the grocery store, appreciating time and space to just be me. It has been a home to me. And while I will probably never move back to Queen Anne even if I do return to Seattle, it will always be a part of who I am. Cheesy? Yes, but true!

Typical Responses

People tend to have really interesting responses when I talk about going to Viet Nam. A lot of times, they just look at me like I'm crazy. That look is almost always followed by the question, Do you speak Vietnamese?! (which, by the way, the answer to is no. Very much not. But, I always add, hopefully soon!). I think that is my favorite response. It is so simple and logical. And, to be honest, it most closely reflects how I feel about going. Another response is to say that I must be really brave. Even though I know people have good intentions when they say that, I don't like it. Brave is not how I would describe how I feel. I feel like I am just doing what I need to do next; it is a step that needed to be taken. I don't know have a grand reason for going or a greater feeling of purpose, I just am doing it. So I don't feel brave, I feel terrified. I keep asking myself, why am I doing this?! Why would I choose to leave everyone I love and feel so comfortable around to do something so unknown, something so random? People don't necessarily like to hear those questions when I talk about going, so even to the people that look at me like I'm crazy I just kind of smile and nod and tell them it will be great. Because it will, and deep down I believe that. I just don't necessarily feel it quite yet...

The only other response that I seem to get is the most outrageous to me. It has happend many times, so it is not just one isolated crazy person. It goes something like this:

Person (normally a woman): You just graduated, what are you doing next year?
Me: Oh you know, I'm moving to Viet Nam.
Person: That's exciting. Maybe you will meet a cute Vietnamese man!

REALLY!?!? Really?! I tell you I'm moving to the other side of the world and starting this entirely new adventure, and you are excited that I may meet a man? If that was my goal in life, I would not leave Seattle to go to a place where I will not speak the language and do not know the social norms for dating. It is almost offensive to me to imply that meeting someone should be my priority now. It's like saying, you have a degree, now you just need a good man. No thank you. I am actually very content doing my own thing :)

To a dear friend,

I'm back! It is kind of ironic that I feel like I need to rest from my vacation, but I do. It was relaxing and fun, and yet kind of exhausting. So, now that I'm home I will rest some more. Because really, what else do I have to do?

On an entirely different note, I had a conversation today that made me really sad. One of my very dear friends is hurting. and I hurt with her. I hate when people are not treated how they deserve to be treated. Through various conversations I have had this past week I have been reminded how important respect is in any relationship, whether it be friendship or a dating relationship. Everyone should be treated in a way that reflects how valuable they are, anything less is simply not okay. We need people in our lives that remind us of the good in us, not people that reflect our fears and insecurities. My friend is compassionate, genuine, wise, brave, and beautiful. The fact that someone made her feel anything other than those things is truly heartbreaking. Obviously we all make mistakes, and no one can treat others perfectly all the time, but I simply expect that we make an effort. So to my dear friend, I am sorry. I wish you did not have to suffer because of other people's shit. You deserve so much more from the people in your life. 

Because having fun is still legal :)

In the spirit of further avoiding the fact that soon I will be leaving, I am going on a cruise this week! If I really sat down and thought about it, I may feel guilty for indulging in the shallow consumption that cruises glorify, but I think I'm going to avoid those thoughts because I'm just looking forward to it!! Who wouldn't want to lay by a pool, dress up, enjoy quite a few choice beverages, and just in general relax?!

I have four books that are just waiting to be read while I lay by the pool. Two are by Jeanette Winterson, an author I'm currently kind of obsessed with. I'm in the middle of Written on the Body and looking forward to reading Sexing the Cherry. They are the types of books I just don't want to put down!

The other book I've been working on for a while is one about Vietnam, The Sacred Willow. I've learned a lot so far, which is good because I knew NOTHING when I initially accepted the position in Hanoi. But I've been attempting to read it since April and am only just past WW2...hopefully I can make more progress this week! Yay for cruises!

PS The title of this post is a quote from the very kind fireman who came to my house because our rude neighbors tried to get us in trouble. But he was on our side! And there is nothing illegal about having fun. Well...most of the time :)