Happily Ever After?

I wasn't going to write anything again before leaving, but in honor of Valentine's Day--which I'm actually not celebrating this year simply because I don't have time for it being that the 14th is Calah's birthday, the first day of the year and the day we leave for Cambodia--and the 30 minutes of extra time I have before going to the airport, I thought I'd share with you a pattern that has emerged this week.

Lots of Vietnamese family gatherings mean lots of funny interactions and cultural questions from people. A typical question when you first meet someone is, do you have a family/husband/boyfriend yet. By now the family all knows that I don't, so the questions have moved to, am I interested in Vietnamese men or am I looking for a husband or something else along those lines. Last week, after clearing the table (the task that I was so proud of helping with) I was told that I was very skilled. That statement was followed by the question, are you looking for a vietnamese husband. Hmmm...what are you implying there?! This morning, the implication wasn't quite so subtle. I was helping with the dishes and was asked if I know how to wash dishes. Seems like a ridiculous question, washing dishes is not necessarily a challenging task but, regardless, I answered: of course I know how. The man then said, oh good, you will make an excellent future wife. Anyone who knows me knows how much I shudder at those sorts of statements. I realize it is cultural, but still! Even within strictly defined gender roles, isn't there more than simply being good at washing dishes?!

Later, that same man asked me if I am looking to settle down in Vietnam. I told him no, that my family is too far away. But he didn't like that answer so he began to try to persuade me otherwise. His line of reasoning? I could find a good husband here! I should consider staying because I am very beautiful and could easily find a rich, Vietnamese, business man to marry. Then I could buy whatever I want, eat whatever I want and go wherever I want and be very happy. He then emphasized that all rich business men would happily marry a pretty foreigner.

So this Valentine's Day the lesson is clear, be a foreigner in Vietnam who can wash dishes and you will never have to worry about anything ever again.