A New Home

There has been a slight change in plans. I've moved! If you'd like read about my wonderfully delightful moments this week, go ahead and email me and I can re-direct you-- aliciamtemple@gmail.com. See you at my new home :)

Putting A Blog To Good Use

Blogs are kind of a silly thing. Sometimes I wonder, why is it that I keep this? I'm not in VN anymore--I dont need to keep people updated on the life that is happening far away. Maybe I just like the sound of my own words? Maybe it's just egotistical nonsense? Quite possibly. For a while I didn't write very much. Recently I have been more. Its a nice thing to fill the spaces I have between various activities; I enjoy brainstorming ideas for it during the day despite the fact that the majority of the time I dont write anything worth while. But I don't know, I like having it. I like remembering through my past blogs. I like tracking when I write and what I feel compelled to actually post. So for now, I'll keep it.

And if I'm going to keep it, I might as well put it to good use. I was inspired by the blog of a beautiful friend who excells at dwelling on happy things. Once upon a time, she encouraged me to write a tangible list of things that make me smile. It was one of the greatest things I've ever done--I started and just couldn't stop. I had that notebook of things that made me happy for years. I mean, who doesn't love lists?! And lists of completely random and ridiculous, as well as sincere, things that bring you joy? Well now, if that isn't just the simpliest and greatest idea ever. Unfortunately I then had this brillant idea to make my list more "creative" and through an attempt at making it cool completely ruined it. Conveniently, lists are easily rewritten.

So for a week, my blog will be my list. Well, my one a day list. You will get to hear whatever it is that brings me complete and utter joy each day. Maybe even some music. Because...well...why not!? Technically it's Sunday now, so today will probably have another post to serve as my first installment of the list of pure joy. You're excited, I just know it ;)

Ok, actually, I can't wait. Today this song is bringing me A LOT of joy. I'm months and months behind, but it makes me think of August and being in Akron, PA and it just..well, it just makes me smile:

Catching Up

I have this pretty sticker chart to document my training for a 15k run I'm doing in March and, unfortunately, it is missng a few stickers from this last week. I had a few personal set backs, including a vicious cold, and just didn't make it to the gym this week. But falling behind in the schedule is not a choice! So today I jumped right back in and joined a friend on her five mile run on the path near my house. Now, 5 miles really isn't that bad. But after stopping for a while and then adding a mile to what I'd been doing...man...I'm sore and its only 2 hours later! And tomorrow I'm attempting a new trail that I hear is, contrary to the ideas of geographical possibilities, uphill both ways. Nothing gets a person caught up like just doing it, right?! And my training team--a pretty serious group of two :)-- decided we can retroactively apply stickers to missed runs if we make up for them. So do not worry, my elementary chart will look complete by March!

Part 2

Hello Again, Temp Job,

I'm so glad the feeling is mutual! I'm sorry your usual receptionist will be trapped in the HR office tackling files for longer, but I would be honored to come back one more day. And I will even consider coming again to cover the desk during your staff conference in a few weeks. I apologize that the mailing labels project required me to use the laminator so often and cause you to think things were burning down/melting multiple times a day but I promise, as long as you don't have more turn over in the next few days, those labels will last and...they look gooood. I would be proud to tackle another such project during my time with you on Monday.

See you soon!
amt

Dear Temp Job,

Thank you for the delightful reprieve from the monotony of unemployment. Answering the phone is a welcome change from constantly checking my own phone. I enjoy reading the emails from your CEO and learning about your yearly profits. While I might not recognize faces of your permanent employees, I can recite the names of almost all of them after my lovely mail box labels project. The ones I do recognize have been exceedingly friendly and I am loving the new interactions. Now, if only you would last longer than 5 days. Or, you know, tell your temp job friends about the great job I've done this week. I'm open to new friendships.

Sincerely,
amt

Happy Anniversary!

Happy Roe v. Wade Anniversary!!

Ok, well it was actually 38 years ago yesterday that the Roe v. Wade decision was made and the privacy laws were extended, allowing woman to have access to safe abortions and disallowing many state restrictions on women's reproductive rights at the time. Interning with Planned Parenthood has given me a shiny new perspective on what that actually means. Last month when I was making fundraising calls, a woman on the phone said she remembered the day Roe v. Wade happened and she is dismayed at how much work there is left to be done to protect women's rights. And, unfortunately, she's right. Oregon is one of only six states that doesn't have abortion restrictions. Only six!

In honor of the day, I went with Planned Parenthood Advocates of Oregon (PPAO) to a leadership training in Salem. PPAO has exciting legislation they are trying to pass this coming session and it was so fun to learn about. I love hearing about the political process from people who are actively engaged in it. I'm looking forward to being a part of it these next few months.

To Thrive

I've been listening to a bit of Nicki Minaj recently. Well, that and Taylor Swift--it's ok to be baffled by my music tastes, they really make no sense. But this Nicki song is currently my fav (sorry for the lack of interesting visuals, there isn't a video to go with it):



Mostly what gets me in this song is the word thrive. That is something I talked a lot about last year. Wanting to thrive. Wanting the people I care about to feel like they are thriving. Wanting to make choices that led to flourishing emotionally, relationally and mentally. Encouraging myself and the people around me to pursue things that make us thrive. I felt like I was thriving during my year in Vietnam, albeit in very unexpected ways. And I had big visions for what thriving would look like here. Nicki reminds me of that hope I had for myself and for the people I love: that we would all figure out how to thrive together.

In addition, its a pretty great song. I'm loving all the new music I've acquired over that last few months. Turns out, there is an upside to everything.

The End of a Book

Love finishing a good book and ending with thoughts like this:

"It makes you wonder. All the brilliant things we might have done with our lives if only we suspected we knew how."

Ann Patchett, Bel Canto

A Turning Point, I hope...

Last weekend I got the chance to spend some truly quality time with some of my wonderful Seattle folk. Saturday night we had what I consider to be a perfect evening, sitting around drinking wine and chatting about life. It was one of those conversations that sticks with you; one where someone who knows you so well can look you in the eyes, remind you about the things that you value and challenge you to start doing things differently. Between unemployment and current life transitions, I've been struggling for a little bit to remember what matters and what I'm doing and who I want to be. I'm not going to attempt to say I know all these things now, but instead that I am brought back to a place where I'm aware of these questions.

Then yesterday, I was given advice that summed up a lot of what I've been thinking: "Just worry about the things that are within your control and you'll be ok". It seems so simple, and yet, I find it to be so challenging. But in order to embrace this place that I'm in more fully, and live more contently, and truly take advantage of the wonderful time I have been given, I need to start with one controlable thing at a time, and let the rest take care of itself.

And so that is what I plan to do. This week is going to be a turning point for life in Portland, I feel sure of it. I have participated in four interviews this past week, and I have one scheduled for next week. I have a little bit more direction for my job search and feel like I have options to pursue. Relationships are changing and I'm attempting to embrace it. I am reminded of all the great reasons I came to Portland and all the wonderful people I am fortunate to have. The gym and I are becoming great friends; so great, in fact, that I might be signing up for a race to train for here soon. Transition may feel like it never ends, but for this moment, I'm going to make the best of it!

Oregon Duckies

Just a normal Monday night--obsessively watching college football? It not quite my usual routine, but I loved it! I was more into watching this game than maybe any sports game ever. It was fun! Hanging in Clackamas, with the fam, cheering on Oregon towards a national chamionship. Ok, maybe they didn't win. But it was a great night! And I'll stand by my Ducks :) Who knew I could like football so much!?

My Non-Resolutions

This year I decided to not do New Year's resolutions. I normally really enjoy making them, but I just wasn't feeling it. If I had to say I have a year goal though, I'd go with GET A JOB. But hey, that's really no big thing, right?!

That being said, I have been making use of my gym membership this week. Not spurred by the new year, but instead by the incredible boredom and job hopelessness that is taking over my days, it has been a really great thing! I'm definitely not a tread-mill convert, but being able to get in a good run not in the 30 degree weather has been a major bonus of this week. In fact, I might go again this afternoon just for something to do!

I also have decided that in my free time (which I have in abundance) I will make use of the fabulous cook books that I have. I have had the most colorful, veggie filled lunches this week! It makes me so happy to have a plate bursting with purples and reds and greens. Delightful.

hola!

I officially signed up for a Spanish class today. I'm so excited! I've been wanting to take it since getting back because:
1. it seems fun
2. attempting to learn Vietnamese made me want to study a language that is a little more manageable and,
3. it seems like a practical life choice for jobs and grad school and other productive life things that someday I might do.

So I officially signed up through Portland Community College. I start Thursday!! Just beginning my path to being a life-long learner :)

Taking Me Back...

Tonight I was driving home from a delightful Christmas party and I was listening to Florence and the Machine which happens to be one of my favorite cds. It was funny, because while I listen to that cd quite often, different songs at different moments take me somewhere. Tonight, despite the fact that I was coming from a party of close neighborhood friends that I was so excited to have spent quality time with, I was reminded so strongly of Viet Nam. I started listening to this cd in May, so it makes sense. But tonight it was not just Viet Nam in general, instead it was very, very specific spots. Drumming Song reminds me of Đường Láng and driving my xe may to swimming before work. Rabbit Heart reminded me Nguyễn Chí Thanh because it must of been about right there that I got to on my iPod after bible study on wednesdays on my way home. Then Swimming reminds me of La Thành, which can only be because that was a longer drive. When I was on that street it meant I was coming from the lake. It probably means I was hanging out with a foreigner friend in the touristy district. And I was probably in a hurry home, trying to not be too late for my curfew.

It's amazing how songs can connect so strongly to such specific locations. Not always. I listen to this cd all the time without reminiscing about Viet Nam. But not tonight. Tonight I wished I was driving home on my xe may, hopefully not in a rain storm. Making it through the four locks at my house. And making my way to bed on the fourth floor. I guess tonight I'll be content to find my bed in Sellwood, and be happy to be celebrating the holidays in the US.

The Mellow Side of Life

It seems blogging is not my current forte. Eh, what can you do.

Life has been a bit, well, mellow recently. A lot of waiting for things. So, I've been trying to find good waiting activities. I read The Hunger Games--gotta love a good young adult book--in two short days. This morning I went on the most delightful walk around my neighborhood, sat on a bench in the sunshine, went into new stores, wandered around in the grocery store. Sometimes waiting is boring. Sometimes it is relaxing. Sometimes I feel anxious about things. Sometimes I feel really content. I guess that is pretty much my life these days.

Pictures as Promised

Here are Christmas tree pics for you to enjoy. It was such a beautiful day--any day that requires a warm coat, scarf and sunglasses is a winner in my book! Half the fun of Christmas tree hunting is taking ridiculous pictures. Well, fun for some. Others act like they hate their life. But I wasn't fooled, I knew it was a clever guise for how much he loves being around me and being forced to smile for a million photos :)

The almost final product:

Christmas Tree Hunting

Today, my favorite holiday tradition since I was little is happening: Christmas tree hunting! The Yost Family (which now includes the See's) will come to the Temple family house, we will load up in two cars, segregated by gender, then take off with the goal of purposely annoying the boys by our round about approach to Christmas tree selecting. Undoubtedly, it will involve some hot chocolate, a candy cane or two, a conversation about the other holiday traditions we should start, a debate over what year this tradition started and which places we have gotten our trees from in the last couple of years and, if we are lucky, some cute farm animals. It's gonna be great. Pictures to come :)

Events like today remind me, once again, that even though I get increasingly frustrated by the feeling that this phase of transition will never end, I am so glad to be home. I wouldn't want to miss the great Christmas tree hunt of 2010, would I?!

A Dramatic Fall.

On Wednesday, I suffered a horrible loss: my computer of 6 years died a tragic death, crashing to its death in not the normal computer crash way but in the literal, fell off the arm of a couch kind of way. I'll admit it, immediately following the plunge I was not a happy girl. But then I had to remind myself that it is just a computer whose time was coming anyway.

But then, my grief turned into something else: reflection. Called me silly and dramatic, but that little guy was with me through a lot. My parents bought it as a graduation gift for me when I was in Israel. It lived on 3rd Hill with Laur and I, wrote my many papers with me, sent happy and not-so-happy emails, kept me in contact with people who are near and dear to my heart, played a lot of music for me, held on for dear life without a working battery for a year, and then survived many cafes with various types of electrical outlets and carried me through a year in Vietnam. That's a long and full life that lucky little computer lived.

And then, again, I remind myself that it was only a thing. And I will get a new one, that is faster and more efficient and whose battery really works. And who knows what kind of adventures that one will get to experience. I could only hope its life is just as exciting as its predecessor's.

Vast Things

"Love is at first not anything that means merging, giving over, and uniting with another (for what would a union be of something unclarified and unfinished still subordinate)--it is a high inducement to the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world, to become world for himself, for another's sake, it is a great exacting claim upon him, something that chooses him out and calls him to vast things."

Rainer Maria Rilke via bell hooks, Wounds of Passion

Sometimes random parts of books really strike me. This is one of those parts. Bell hooks herself has lots of quotable moments--whole chapters even that leave me sitting in coffee shops making audible, affirming sounds of the wonderful words she uses and insight she has. And then she goes and throws in these other poets and authors and I just can't keep it to myself. I've read this passage out loud to a couple of people, and now I am sharing it with you. I hope you enjoy it and I hope that for everyone, love calls us to vast things.

So Much To Learn

This last week I have had two significant moments of remembering how much I don't know.

The most recent one came yesterday, when I was having a delightful conversation about American history, the south and the Civil War, followed by a trip to Powell's Bookstore. The conversation alone made me realize how little I know of American history; I learned it all at some point in life but definitely do not remember it anymore. And then the trip to Powell's...well, let's just say that a trip to a giant bookstore will always leave me feeling like there is not enough time in the world to read all that I'd like to and understand things as well as I'd like. My time there included visits in just 4 sections, cooking, travel, history and gender studies and I think I could spend a lifetime reading about each of those subjects individually. But, alas, I cannot do that. Luckily, I have a pretty decent backup plan: I will settle for fascinating conversations with the intelligent people I am so fortunate to have in my life and reading just a few books at a time (currently I'm attempting a sociological study of the history of marriage, a memoir by a prominent gender and race expert and a novel by Michael Chabon).

The other moment came last week when I attended a discussion on transgender rights at the Q Center here in Portland. It started with two professionals who advocate for transgender rights in Washington DC, then had a question and answer session, and finished with time for people who are actively working for transgender equality in the local community to share their experiences. I loved it! A few people who I have mentioned it to since then have kind of looked at me like, why would you go to that? For what purpose? And I guess there wasn't a purpose. Except to tangibly see that there is so much to be a part of. Did you know that just recently regulations were passed allowing a person to put the gender he or she identifies with on his or her passport, as opposed to the one they were born with? It seems like such a little thing; when I fill out paperwork I do not think twice about checking the "female" box. But many people do. Or did you know that it was just 9 years ago that the first lawyer focused specifically on transgender rights on a national level? These things are so recent! There are so many things to be done--things to be fought for.

So in this week following thanksgiving, I am reminded to be thankful for every opportunity to learn. In my unemployed state, I often feel unproductive and listless. But moments such as these help me to see the bigger picture. That I will survive this time of unemployment if I keep learning.

Home for the Holidays

As I sit here this morning, sipping on my London Fog from Starbucks and eating a delicious left over roll, glad to be back from my 6am shopping excursion, I am reminded that I am home this Thanksgiving. Yesterday was filled with family and friends and way too much food. This morning was filled with too much consumerism for 6am. The rest of the day will entail too much laziness. Let there be no doubt, it is an American holiday. And you know what, I'm going to embrace every moment of it :)

Although, it does make me think about where I was last Thanksgiving. I was at a conference with MCC and all of our local partners in the mountains. And I was celebrating the lovely Hannah's birthday. And I was forcing my host siblings to be my friend through American holiday crafts. I am grateful to be home this year and I am also reminded to be thankful for my friends in Viet Nam and the holidays I spent there.